Soo utterly true right here! Yes I want to recover and be happy all the time without guilt of being normal, I want to enjoy morsels of vegan yumminess not nessisarily junk food but I want to beable to experiment and use oil in my cooking and make raw vegan cakes and foods to eat not just waste and throw away.. I want to be fit toned and healthy with a healthy relationship to food! I want to enjoy life without my petty anorexic thoughts 😭 but that part of me still holds things back and I am stuck in this motionless pit ..:( Novembers not to distant from the present and I’m going to Melbourne for the vegan day festival I am so excited I’ll finally get to meet my lovely girl @rediscoveringmyself we are best friends honestly I know you all may think it’s weird but I want to enjoy that weekend with her and go to meals out and not stress and feel endless guilt .. We want to experience new foods I.e pana chocolate, yongs, misterniceguys, green press but it all seems so horrific at this current time I just wish I could make both of is better but I don’t know what to do anymore I just feel paralysed in this stage of my recovery ??? #anorexia #reasonstorecover #recoverymotivation #iwant #future #vegan #food #lifeaftered #edrecvery #edfamily

Soo utterly true right here! Yes I want to recover and be happy all the time without guilt of being normal, I want to enjoy morsels of vegan yumminess not nessisarily junk food but I want to beable to experiment and use oil in my cooking and make raw vegan cakes and foods to eat not just waste and throw away.. I want to be fit toned and healthy with a healthy relationship to food! I want to enjoy life without my petty anorexic thoughts 😭 but that part of me still holds things back and I am stuck in this motionless pit ..:( Novembers not to distant from the present and I’m going to Melbourne for the vegan day festival I am so excited I’ll finally get to meet my lovely girl @rediscoveringmyself we are best friends honestly I know you all may think it’s weird but I want to enjoy that weekend with her and go to meals out and not stress and feel endless guilt .. We want to experience new foods I.e pana chocolate, yongs, misterniceguys, green press but it all seems so horrific at this current time I just wish I could make both of is better but I don’t know what to do anymore I just feel paralysed in this stage of my recovery ??? #anorexia #reasonstorecover #recoverymotivation #iwant #future #vegan #food #lifeaftered #edrecvery #edfamily

This is my master piece for today! A coconut rough cake I shall call it! Used a recipe but then failed so improvised as created some signature touches πŸ™Š hope this doesn’t look too ugly for you all it’s not vegan but the icing is πŸ‘Œ it wouldn’t be hard to alternate it to vegan tho if you all use your little brains πŸŒ±βœ¨πŸƒ #baking #procratibaking #chocolate #cake #fun #coconutoil #coconutoilicing #skills #naughtycake

This is my master piece for today! A coconut rough cake I shall call it! Used a recipe but then failed so improvised as created some signature touches πŸ™Š hope this doesn’t look too ugly for you all it’s not vegan but the icing is πŸ‘Œ it wouldn’t be hard to alternate it to vegan tho if you all use your little brains πŸŒ±βœ¨πŸƒ #baking #procratibaking #chocolate #cake #fun #coconutoil #coconutoilicing #skills #naughtycake

Reblogged from i'm doing this for me.
Reblogged from built from fire
Love this girl @rachieslifee just a little selfie for y’all! 😽✌️ #loveher #bestie #galpal #fabulous

Love this girl @rachieslifee just a little selfie for y’all! 😽✌️ #loveher #bestie #galpal #fabulous

Little retail therapy always makes me feel alittle special πŸ™Š #sorrynotsorry #undies #airport

Little retail therapy always makes me feel alittle special πŸ™Š #sorrynotsorry #undies #airport

Hehe a wonderful froyo date @cowandcoadelaide trying out their one and only vegan flavour TOo Toot so proud of myself yes I felt internally anxious but that’s a common component to this fucked up disorder I feel abit better  since we walked around for ages !! But I shouldn’t need an excuse to have healthy vegan froyo !!! Right?!? I had vegan soy chocolate froyo topped with strawberries and some caramalized buckinis (buckwheat) and missy poo @rachieslifee had some mango, spurilina and hazelnut an topped it with a bit of forgotten goodies πŸ˜‚ loved today yes it was full of guilt but also smiles !!! Logic behind today was yes there was only one flavour which was dairy free (vegan) it was chocolate automatic freak out ! But no I needed to rationalise why would I opt for a dairy option when it would be leaving me with ultimate stomach pains :( when really I was going to feel guilty no matter what!! So hell I got It because I wouldn’t want to deal with pain and guilt at once … Love you all I’m proud I myself but I need to realise this easy enough and push myself to eat more as this was much tinier than it looks .. About 160g give or take, now time to guesstimate the calories 😩 #challenge #challengeittogether #food #vegan #froyo #froyoadelaide #veganfroyo #soy #healthy #yum #fears #fighting #ilovefroyo #mmm #tummytroubles #cowandco #cocoa (at Cow & Co)

Hehe a wonderful froyo date @cowandcoadelaide trying out their one and only vegan flavour TOo Toot so proud of myself yes I felt internally anxious but that’s a common component to this fucked up disorder I feel abit better since we walked around for ages !! But I shouldn’t need an excuse to have healthy vegan froyo !!! Right?!? I had vegan soy chocolate froyo topped with strawberries and some caramalized buckinis (buckwheat) and missy poo @rachieslifee had some mango, spurilina and hazelnut an topped it with a bit of forgotten goodies πŸ˜‚ loved today yes it was full of guilt but also smiles !!! Logic behind today was yes there was only one flavour which was dairy free (vegan) it was chocolate automatic freak out ! But no I needed to rationalise why would I opt for a dairy option when it would be leaving me with ultimate stomach pains :( when really I was going to feel guilty no matter what!! So hell I got It because I wouldn’t want to deal with pain and guilt at once … Love you all I’m proud I myself but I need to realise this easy enough and push myself to eat more as this was much tinier than it looks .. About 160g give or take, now time to guesstimate the calories 😩 #challenge #challengeittogether #food #vegan #froyo #froyoadelaide #veganfroyo #soy #healthy #yum #fears #fighting #ilovefroyo #mmm #tummytroubles #cowandco #cocoa (at Cow & Co)

wastedterror:

My paradise “mon paradis”

wastedterror:

My paradise β€œmon paradis”

Reblogged from Heartless